BEGINNER PHOTOGRAPHY TIPS

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I am SO excited to host our first official guest blogger! This post is all about photography, but not anything too extravagant-just tips for beginners!

I love pretty feeds on Instagram.  There's just something so magical about a perfectly curated feed that captures my attention, and that's exactly what Kaylee Crane of KayleeCrane.Co did! So we've teamed up to bring you "photography tips for Instagram + beyond for beginners!"

 
 

Hey guys! So happy to be here with you today and feeling so flattered that Amy is letting me be apart of one of my favorite blogs! I have been following along with her journey for a little while now and I flipped when I found out that she was pursuing this into a blog & shop!

One of my favorite parts about her brand is all the amazing photos so you can only imagine how I felt when she asked me to share some photography tips with you all! So here I am, I’m no pro, and I have a lot to learn but I’m excited to share the knowledge I do have!

First off, a little back story. I’ve always loved art. Whether it was finger painting as a little girl or making little cards for holidays. Fast forward to high school- I met my husband, Chase, and he was insanely talented with photography and from there it just evolved. I always followed behind him with my amateur camera he let me have and watched every move he made. I would say our styles and types of photography are definitely way different but I learned a lot about capturing stillness from him-which in my opinion is the hardest. We took photos together in the outdoors mostly and every now and again capturing some of our closest friends!

 
 

Fast forward again about 8 years and here we are with our first baby, Chester. From the second he was born we’ve barely put a camera down. We share one camera now- a mark iii and I do most of the editing on Lightroom. So lets get to the good stuff! What are some tips for capturing your little family? Check them out below-

 
 

1.     My biggest go to is natural light. I’m sure you hear most people with a camera say this but it’s golden. Find the time that your home looks the dreamiest and keep that in mind. Lucky me, that’s first thing in the morning- which is also Chester’s happiest time of the day!

2.     Don’t ever use the approach of “oh I want to get a picture for Instagram or my blog”. At the end of the day, that approach just doesn’t seem to work for me. I just try to capture our family in their element which seems to allow me to get multiple photos to use for multiple reasons- photo books, Instagram Posts, blog posts and so on.

3.     Try to approach a shot by the whole picture not just the focal point. I pay attention to the surroundings because most of the time that somehow makes the picture.

4.     Angles-- get on the ground mama, get those babies crawling straight to you.

5.     Find your style and stick to it. I struggled with this for a while because truthfully, I love all styles. I love those cream-ish photos, moody dark ones, and light airy ones. But I found what works best for us and what I can see us shooting 20 years down the road- consistency is key once you find your groove!

6.     Set the self timer, if you look closely in some of our photos you can see one of us holding our little remote because we can’t master moving it behind us quick enough but you know what? We have family pictures and I love that. If we are traveling and it would be risky to put our camera up on a tripod we will just ask a stranger to snap one- most are intimidated but get your settings where you want them and tell them to put the little box on one of your faces! VOILA!

7.     Editing tips- for me, I love to lighten up the photo by adjusting the brightness and also adding some more contrast. It gets the colors exactly where I want them. My go to filters are by VSCO or Filmborn (Matins Labs). Either way, even once I add a filter I always knock it way down and still have to play with the settings. Make it yours!!

8.     I often get asked how I get my husband to take photos of my family and also be apart of them. Truth is, he obviously has always loved it. But again don’t approach it with tip # 2 or else you all are going to get into a frenzy and that’s no fun for anyone and your husband will never want to do it again!

9.     Grab other cameras- I love shooting with my iPhone and especially our insta film camera! Some of my favorite memories are on those Polaroid’s.

10. Lastly, ENJOY IT! I often hear moms saying it’s so stressful getting photos of their kids or families – embrace those grainy, blurry, and crazy shots. Those are the ones that hold the best memories. Un-staged, showing your phase of life, and ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!

I hope these little tips can bring some help to your own photography! If I didn’t answer one of the questions you were hoping to hear more about- leave it in the comments!

Thanks for letting me share with you guys today!

 
 

I mean seriously guys! How stinkin precious are Kaylee and her family! These tips are so simple but so important, and we couldn't agree with them more! What I love even more is that Kaylee's family truly does embody The Ever Co spirit.  They love celebrating holidays, creating traditions and capturing memories that will last forEVER! Take a look around her blog, but be sure to check out the cutest pumpkin carving party here.  Here's some pics from their family time to show you just how precious they are! 

Thanks again for joining us Kaylee! We are so grateful for you! 

 
 

xx, Amy

BALLOON ARCH DIY TUTORIAL

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The wait is over! My most asked for tutorial is finally here!!! Yippee!!! 

 
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It's no lie that I have such a passion for celebrating people, and there's no better way for me to do it than create a backdrop and beautiful scene for their celebrations! 

I'll be sharing pictures from both Hadley's first birthday party and from a recent baby shower I hosted! I love that you can see two different color scheme options, but I also love showing you this because the exact same DIY method was used for both!!

Can't wait to see your creations!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

STEP ONE: GATHER MATERIALS

  • greenery (i used eucalyptus leaves and silk flowers from Hobby Lobby)
  • staple gun (we used a staple gun because we are redoing the wall that I've been using for these arch garlands. We've also used heavy duty painters tape as well, but it's not guaranteed to stay up.)
  • balloons (I gather balloons from various big box locations like party city, walmart, target, hobby lobby, michaels and joanns, but I also love shop sweet lulu and etsy shops for more specialized colors!!)
  • washi tape (to cover the ends of the floral wire)
  • cloth floral stem wire (buy the heaviest gauge available and around 18" for length.  There are Hobby lobby, walmart and amazon versions available! Just google search "cloth floral stem wire" and many come up; I bought ours at our local Hobby Lobby)

STEP TWO: COVER FLORAL WIRE ENDS

  • for this step you will use your washi tape to cover the floral wire stems.  cover the ends of all the floral wires you plan on using. the length and number of wires will be based on the size of arch you need (get this measurement by laying them out along the wall to get a visual for how large you want the arch).
  • the purpose of this is to ensure that as you're messing with the wire (which is sharp) it doesn't accidentally poke and pop one of the balloons; it equally acts as a barrier for your skin too! 

STEP THREE: BEGIN TO TIE BALLOONS TO THE WIRE

  • you want to first use your limited colors.  If you are using a pink, red and white color scheme for instance, but you want pink to be the dominant color, I'd start with placing limited reds and white along all of the floral wires spreading them out evenly. then I'd go back in and fill in all the open areas with all the pinks remaining so that there's mostly pink in the arch.  similar to the blue and gold arch, I started with the gold first and then filled in with all of the blue. 
  • to tie the balloons to the wire, I didn't tie them off to themselves first. It's easier to tie them to the wire as you're tying the balloon off.  Does that make sense? haha! 

STEP FOUR: FILL IN ALL SPACES

  • add in all of the filler balloons (the dominant color) and lay the arch flat on the ground to make sure there's no open areas.
  • also remember that once it is on the wall, many of the open areas will fill in because the pressure against the wall will push the balloons out.  

STEP FIVE: STAPLE WIRE TO WALL

  • again, you may want to use another method that is a little less damaging to your walls. we are only doing it because it's a wall we are going to redo. BUT, if you can do it-do it! It's the best way to keep them secure! if you have a space that can be easily covered up by a large picture, then a staple gun will work!! 
  • you want to staple right above where you put the washi tape. 
  • once the wire is stapled to the wall, the best way to secure the wire is to wrap the end with the washi tape around the wire to fully secure the arch to the wall! that'll keep it from slipping or sliding at all! 
  • repeat this step with each end of each wire to form an arch on the wall.
  • we learned that it's best to do each piece in segments because it's much easier to work with the smaller sections. once you put them all together on the wall it'll look like one fluid piece! 

 STEP SIX: ADD FLORAL

  • once the full arch is on the wall, add in all of your pretty greenery and floral to make the arch come together! THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART!!! IT ADDS SOOOO MUCH! 
  • you'll have to mess around with different angles and placements until it looks the best, but feel free to use my pictures as inspiration for where you should place yours! I also use flowers and just stick them in between balloons to hold them in place! 
  • if the balloons are secured to the wall well (i.e. with a staple gun) you don't have to attach the flowers or greenery into the wall at all! mine are all just placed in between the balloons which hold them on the wall just fine! 

I canNOT wait to see what you all come up with! Be sure to tag us @theeverco and #theeverco so we can see and possibly feature it on the blog or IG!

Here's some pics from my instagram @amylouhawthorne from the two parties I made these for! I'm pretty sure they're my all time favorite DIY now! 

 
 

xx, Amy

VALENTINE'S MOVIE DATE NIGHT IDEAS

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We are HUGEEEEE movie buffs.

When people ask what Blake and I miss most about life before kids, the answer is always GOING TO SEE MOVIES!!!

But we've also learned that movie date nights-in are just as fun! We can't wait until the girls are old enough to go to the theater, but until then-we are soaking up this time at home! There's nothing more we love than to all curl up on the couch with popcorn, blankets and our coziest pajamas and play Star Wars, The Land Before Time or Planet Earth. We're nerds, I know!!! 

During the week of Valentines, we always make an effort to watch the cute, sappy stuff (which pretty much means: hellooooooooo chick flicks + Disney movies allllll weeekkkkk longgggg) The best! 

Get ready to swoon over this daddy + daughter duo. (insert heart eye emoji here!) 

You can shop their matching shirts here (daddys) and here (babies)

 

 

And then our little ham and her pup, eating all the popcorn she can get her hands on! 

 
 

We've rounded up our all time favorite family friendly Valentine's movies that are great for kids and also our all time favorite romantic dramas/comedies for you and yours!!!

We hope you take the time to relax, sip some wine or coffee and watch movies that spread joy, hope and love this Valentines!

And yes, make it a tradition. You'd make us so so proud. 

 
 

For you + your love 

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happy movie night!

xx, Amy

SPEAKING THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE

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This Valentines I've chosen to give more with less.

 

I'm a gift giver naturally, it's how I most comfortably show my love language.  But I've realized that not everyone feels loved the most in receiving gifts. And that's a hard concept to grasp! Our love languages aren't all the same, which is totally fine, but it can be a difficult concept for couples to figure out when we feel like we're desperately showing love and it's not being received. 

It's not only important to learn how you show love best, but it's equally as important to learn how your significant other receives love the best! Luckily, Blake and I have figured this out pretty well over the years and I know that while he may not need tangible gifts to feel loved, there's one tangible gift that goes straight to his heart.

And tummy. :) 

 
 
 

Food and sweets are the way to my man's heart. He got that sweet tooth from his momma. :) And while I may not be the best in the kitchen, I've learned so much from my mom and his mom over the years with recipes that they've handed down, and now I've become a self proclaimed chef! Now, I get lost in the kitchen (both literally and figuratively, ha!) but it's because I know just how much a good home cooked meal means to him. It's because I know baked goods speak straight to his soul.  His eyes light up at the smell of homemade apple crisp.  His smile widens at the sight of homemade cream cheese icing for his cookies.  He's such a foodie, so I've learned to show him love this way. 

 
 

You may have seen that I am transitioning out of Active Duty Army service to the Army Reserves this summer.  And with that comes a huge pay cut - a $6,000 one to be exact.  We've been revamping our budget over the last year, and have learned that happiness isn't found in our bank account. I've been learning that I don't need all the things all the time, and have mastered the fill the cart up but put it all back at the checkout line with one final pep talk with myself. (the cashiers hate me haha!)

So for the last year I've been strategically and diligently living with less, needing less, buying less and giving less.  Which honestly is super hard for me, because it's naturally what I love to do.  But I've realized that the decisions I make with our money now are going to have lasting impacts on our future. In the last year, we've realized the truth behind one cliche phrase after another.

 Money can't buy our happiness, but our memories can.

Hence, why we created The Ever Co. 

 
 

Writing is a lost art, and it's an art that my sweet daddy did such a beautiful job of teaching me.  I never want to lose the passion I have for writing, and I'm passionate about instilling the art of writing in our girls.  A handwritten note goes a long way. 

For Valentines I created these "I love you Most" printables (found here) for him.  All week long I'll bake tons of yummy goodies for him to come home to after work.  With each yummy surprise there'll be a card, and on the back a note that reminds him why I love him more.  A note that reminds him all the reasons that I fell in love with him in the first place. I've printed off a ton of these and have hid them all throughout the house for him to find throughout the week of Valentines, but also even long after! Cause I know just how much a note of love means when it's least expected.  There's something so special about the subtle surprise of words that pull on heartstrings. 

And now, I think we have a new Valentine's tradition. 

 
 

We're learning to live a more abundant life with less in our bank account. 

So we challenge you this Valentines (and for holidays after) to not necessarily go out and buy all the things, but to make something-create something-go somewhere, to do something that creates a tradition and that makes lasting memories for you and yours truly.  Sure they'll remember the coolest techy gadget, but will they remember a trip to the place your first met and a picnic even more? 

We challenge you to do things that have tons of meaning and make tons of memory.

I have a good feeling it'll be just as special. (your bank account will thank you too) ;)

 

With the printables purchase from our shop, you get all three of these designs for just $2.99 to print as many as you'd like at home or at an office store! We want to bring you affordable, modern + hip designs in all that we create! We guarantee you can't find these at Target. ;) 

 

Printables- you can find the printables here for just $2.99 in our shop! 

Our cookie cutters were found at Home Goods for just $3.99, but here's similar ones from Target for $8.99! 

Here's my all time favorite rolled sugar cookie recipe! 

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups softened butter
  • 2 cups white sugar (I use 1 1/4 cup and we still love them!) 
  • 4 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 5 cups flour
  • 2 tspns baking powder
  • 1 tsp salt

Directions:

  • In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt. Cover, and chill dough for at least one hour (or overnight).
  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Roll out dough on floured surface 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into shapes with any cookie cutter. Place cookies 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
  • Bake 6 to 8 minutes in preheated oven. Cool completely.

Here's my all time favorite cream cheese frosting!

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup softened butter
  • 8 oz. cream cheese
  • 4 cups confectioners' sugar
  • 2 tsps vanilla extract

Directions: 

  • Beat softened butter and cream cheese until well blended.
  • Add powdered sugar and vanilla. Beat until creamy.

Happy baking and note writing, loves!

xx, Amy

Redefining Profit

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Owning your own business typically brings one common theme to mind: money. 

So understandably, when you're making a lot of it-it's generally thought that the business is boomin'. And conversely, if you're not, it's generally thought to be hanging on for dear life.  

But I want to throw a concept out that may come as a surprise to some: what if starting, owning and running a "for profit" business wasn't all about the money? What if the dollar signs in our bank accounts weren't our success stories?  We can be the wealthiest business owners, but completely lose our passion and drive in an instant if we aren't careful. And not everyone will agree, but for us-money can't buy our genuine happiness. 

There's so much more. And we choose heart over hustle. 

Profit: to obtain a financial advantage or benefit, especially from an investment.

What if we shifted our culture away from thinking the word profit was directly tied to a financial advantage, and instead that it was tied to a benefit? What if our "profit" was whether or not we were serving the people we are running the business for? What if our "profit" was whether or not our purpose and mission are being fulfilled? Now, don't get me wrong-we want to put a roof over our head, we want to put food on our table and we want to build a happy and healthy upbringing for our girls, but the dollar signs that show up on our monthly financial statement don't define us. 

WE WON'T LET THEM DEFINE US.

What will define us is if we are serving "The Who" and "The Why" of The Ever Co?

The Who: It's about you. Our people. Our tribe. Our community.

The Why: It's about our mission. Our purpose. Our calling. Our legacy. 

We, as small business owners, must get back to the heart over the hustle. 

I think so often as entrepreneurs and creatives, we focus on the what, where and when of our business endeavors instead of the who and the why.  And THAT is what burns us out. We get so wrapped around the logistics of growing our following, of making more money, of getting bigger and better and having more, instead of worrying about how we can serve YOU better and how we can serve our purpose more.  It takes the fun out of small business, and I never EVER want us to get there.  I hear so many stories of entrepreneurs getting burnt out, and we don't want that.  We are in the infancy of Ever Co, and we are setting our priorities on people + passion over financial profit.  

When we take out the unnecessary logistics and marketing pressure of entrepreneurship and instead focus on our passion and purpose, joy fills our office space.  It reminds us that we are serving our given "market" for a reason.  That is, in fact, what initially sparked your interest, right? You saw a gap or a need that you wanted to fulfill.  But here's the kicker: If we are serving our audience well, and if we are serving our purpose well, then the financial profit will come. I truly believe that refocusing our energy on our people and our passion will allow us to grow financially.  But, our priorities must be right for that to happen.  

 We never started our business to get rich. Let's face it; we entered a saturated t-shirt market and threw a cute graphic and our brand on a piece of cloth. Spoiler alert: you probably won't be seeing us on Shark Tank for this! But, we also aren't "just another t-shirt company." It's so much more than that for us.  Just as much as we are a brand, we are also just as much a community.  A community to inspire you to celebrate holidays with those you love most.  A community to inspire you to create traditions right where you are. At home, at work, in your backyard, at your favorite restaurant. Wherever your feet are planted.  A community to inspire you to capture memories that will last forever.

The deeper we get with growing our business, the more I realize how much this same concept applies to my own social media platform @amylouhawthorne.  

I spent five years growing the following I now have.  Yet, for the last year-I've continued to watch the number next to my name go down by the hundreds every single week.  What was once so easy to grow has now become a nightmare for many social media bloggers-especially on Instagram.  The algorithms for platform growth continue to change on the reg, which makes it extremely difficult for bloggers to grow their community. We're competing with actual coded in algorithms that hide our content from our long time followers, and that's just plain discouraging.  To be honest, for most of us it's INCREDIBLY stressful.  I'm in a ton of small pod groups and we talk about it daily. "What do we do?" "What do we not do?" "What did we do wrong?" And it puts SO much pressure on us, as if our lives don't already give us enough! 

But this week something in me shifted.  (Hence this blog post) I got rid of my business profile, and I switched back to a personal profile. I now can't look at the statistics of everything I post.  I now can't watch the numbers fluctuate up and down on my account.  I now can't see how many people my posts are reaching.

Instead, now I'm focused on you.  I'm focused on why I share and who I share for.  

Cause here's the scoop friends:

I get messages every week that say "thank you for saving my marriage." "Thank you for giving my marriage hope and promise for tomorrow." "Thank you for being vulnerable in your own failures to remind me that nobody's perfect." 

I get messages every week that say "you reminded me that I don't have to give up on life when things get rough. You reminded me that putting this knife to my wrist or gun to my head wasn't the answer." 

I get messages every week that say "you lead me to find Christ." "You saved me from a life of destruction by teaching me about our God who loves us so."

I get messages every week that say "my kid doesn't measure up in the eyes of the world either, but you reminded me that they are all unique and beautiful in their own ways. Just as they were chosen for us, we were chosen for them." 

And friends, THIS is why I do this.  Because if I can save one young couple from signing divorce papers and giving up, if I can stop one person from slitting their wrist and ending their life, if I can lead one brother or sister to the goodness of Christ Jesus our Lord, if I can remind one mama that their child's diagnosis doesn't define them as a parent, then that's all that matters.  And that's what I want my legacy to be.

When the day comes that I leave this world earth side to be reunited with my daddy, I want to be remembered for creating a legacy and building a heritage for my daughters to live on and live in.  I want them to be proud to call me mama. I want my husband to be proud to call me his wife.  I want my parents to be proud to call me their daughter.  I want my Soldiers to be proud to call me their leader. I want our Ever Co community to be proud to call me a friend. 

We truly truly love you so. 

xx, Amy

p.s. pin this image below on pinterest or share it on social media to spread the word! We want to change the culture in small business. Help us get back to the heart over the hustle. Help us redefine profit. 

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Bonus: A few notes about our business plan! 

We just packaged our 500th shirt and shipped our 400th package in just over a month of sales, but we are just about breaking even financially with what we invested into our website with Go Live HQ, our family video with Heart Stone Films and our inventory.  For our business, we wanted a no shipping + no extra fees model and we also wanted to create affordable shirts for your families to wear.  With that, our margins are not through the roof, and we are okay with that! Mark Cubin may be disappointed, but he'll get over it. ;) We love going to check out from a shop and seeing the words "Free Shipping" pop up, so we wanted to implement that in our shop too! 

DIY FLOWER CROWS

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The picture that broke the internet. 

Just kidding.

Just a really cute pic I found on pinterest while spending an hour trying to find the perfect pic to announce this blog post tonight. So, I found a cow. And it may very well be my favorite picture of all time. But now to find this cow's owner and give credit where credit is due! If you find the source, let me know!

So here we are! I've been so excited to share this blog post on DIY flower crowns! Throwing a crown party is not only the BEST idea for a GAL-entines bash, but it's also such a perfect activity for a bridal shower, baby shower or other all ladies gathering! The whimsical, bohemian feel of them just makes my heart melt.  

Here are a few of my favorites (with tutorials) that I found today while spending 89,722 minutes trying to find the flower cow owner! ;)

This adorable one from Maker's Society! 

This gorgeous one from Delia Creates! 

This precious one + Rock My Wedding! 

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This darling one from Little Inspiration Blog! 

But wait, there's more! 

I am so excited to introduce you all to Marrissa and Amanda of The Wild Revival! 

We truly wanted to find blog contributors who shared the same passions as The Ever Co.  We wanted genuine souls who were on fire to build legacy and create tradition. 

And that's exactly what we found in these two ladies. 

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Here's a small exerpt from their blog post on their DIY Flower Crown Gathering!         

"The heart + soul behind The Wild Revival Gatherings is creating a space where the walls can drop and real, honest conversations can happen.

This is about connection.

On the last Saturday of August, we finally held our first gathering: Flower Crowns + Food! It was amazing to see our heart’s desire come to fruition right in front of us.  It was an ideal end of summer soiree.

There were 16 of us at the event and we each brought something different to the table. Our stories are different, as are our struggles + our joys. We created, we laughed, and we engaged in conversations we wouldn’t have had, had it not been for the gathering. There is something to be said about what God does when He brings people together in that way."

“The heart of hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard and loved. It’s about declaring your table a safe zone, a place of warmth and nourishment.” 

― Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine

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Honestly, I could not be more grateful that The Wild Revival are our very first EVER blog contributors.  I'm so grateful to be surrounded by women who encourage and uplift other women. Who cheer each other on. Who lift each other up. Who inspire.  

Thank you ladies so much for sharing your hearts with us and for GATHERING! 

Be sure to share your flower crowns with us on Instagram and tag us @theeverco ! 

Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." PC: pinterest, source unknown

Happy crafting!

xx, Amy

FINDING BALANCE

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Busy day? check.

Not enough hours in the day? check.

Feel like your priorities are all mixed up? check.

Then this one's for you.

Up until recently, I told myself "I just want ten more hours in the day. Only then could I get everything done that I need to!" But the truth is, we would likely still manage our time exactly the same as we habitually do now with even more hours in the day.  We'd still find every excuse in the book to skip out on those things that matter most.  We, as a society, are collectively on the struggle bus when it comes to managing our priorities.  And friend, that's okay. Cause managing priorities and finding balance are hard work. But let me share this with you-a quote that changed my life by Laura Vanderkam:

 "You have fewer than one thousand Saturdays with each child in your care before he or she is grown up." Wait, just one thousand?!? That's like tomorrow! 

Phew, grab me the tissue box. That was all that I needed to hear to take action and get my priorities in check. To find my balance. 

We must shut out the not-so-important and reel in the real-important. 

It's not so much what we prioritize, but more importantly how we balance the priorities we've set. 

My Army Chaplain told me something in December of 2012 that's never left my rolodex of favorite quotes since: "You can't have two number one priorities. If your priorities aren't in order, and if you aren't managing them individually, then your number five will trump your number one and your number two will collide with your number three. Priorities are priorities for a reason. We must manage them as such." 

I was the girl who pulled all nighters EVERY SINGLE TEST in college because I put off studying until the last minute.  I was the young woman who let debt pile up so high that my credit was shot and I thought I was doomed for life.  I was the wife who cared so much more about what others thought about me than my own husband. 

Until I started focusing on balance. Until I started realizing that I HAD to set priorities and take actions to tend to those priorities every single day. It was only then that I graduated with honors, came out of nearly $100,000 of debt and saved my marriage. 

If something is worthy of being a priority in your life, then it is worthy of being tended to.

I call this "tending to": filling up the priority's bucket.  

Think of your priorities like they are buckets.  When you make something a priority, you are consciously telling yourself that this subject is SO important to me that I must take care of it. I must keep it filled with water to survive.  Now don't get me wrong, different seasons of life may call for different amounts of water, but nevertheless-if it's a priority, it needs water. The more priorities you add, the more water you need to spread amongst all of your buckets. Imagine your water is time, energy, love, care, compassion, money, attention, desire, discipline and focus. We likely don't have enough of this to share evenly amongst all of our priority buckets, right? And even if we think we do, we're likely sacrificing in one for another, rather than consciously tending to each bucket alone. 

And this is where we learn to balance. 

I'm so often asked how in the world I manage all of the things that I do. I'm a Christian, always seeking after more truth. I'm a wife, yearning to love my husband more. I'm a mom, desperately wanting to be more present for my girls. I'm an Active Duty Army Officer, ready to accomplish every mission assigned to me with initiative. I'm an entrepreneur, eager to grow and learn and give back. I'm a 31 year old woman, chasing after health and fitness goals postpartum. And, I'm currently in a season of grief-holding on to hope for a better tomorrow. This is me right now. Learning to balance these priorities I've set.

Not necessarily learning what buckets can be less filled than others.  Rather, learning how to fill my buckets with the amount of water they need to survive. 

Here is how I balance my priorities. 

 

The decisions we make and actions we take must consciously meet the needs of our priorities every day.  We must fill up the buckets for the most critical aspects of our lives so they don't run dry.  When certain buckets have more water than others, balance will be lost. We must fill our priority buckets up every day with the amount of water they need to survive. However little. However grand. Give them what they need. 

I encourage you to read "What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast" by Laura Vanderkam. I've learned so many useful tips and tricks to apply to this very subject.  Since reading the book, I've become completely enthralled with the idea of waking up early.  Now, mind you, I'm very used to it having been in the Army for seven years.  But now, it's not a dreaded alarm clock.  Instead, I'm anxious for my alarm to go off at 5 a.m. every morning to start my day reading the Bible and filling my soul with the spiritual fuel needed to survive.  On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays I go on long runs to train for my marathons.  On Saturday mornings, we get a sitter and Blake joins me so we have 10-15 miles to be together-just us. We go get coffee + breakfast afterwards and just chat.  Already, before 8 or 9 a.m. I've tended to three of my priorities. Faith, Family and Fitness.  Bottom line: make the most of your mornings. Don't waste that precious time. 

Some notes from the book: 

  • Successful people have priorities they want to tackle, or things they like to do with their lives, and early mornings are the time when they have the most control of their schedules.
  • If you wait until the end of the day to do meaningful but not urgent things like exercise, pray, read, ponder how to advance your career or grow your organization, or truly give your family your best, it probably won't happen. If it HAS to happen, then it HAS to happen first.
  • In the morning, after a decent night's sleep, the supply of willpower is fresh. Getting things down to routines and habits takes willpower at first, but in the long run conserves willpower.
  • Successful people turn high-value tasks into morning rituals, conserving their energy for later battles. 
  • The best morning rituals are activities that don't have to happen and certainly don't have to happen at a specific hour. These are activities that require internal motivation. 
  • The best morning rituals are activities that, when practiced regularly, result in long-term benefits. 

TAKE ACTION: 

1. I would absolutely love for you to grab this free printable and create your own balance sheet like mine! Upload it to instagram and share with us! 

2. Start paying attention to how you use your time. There's a spreadsheet you can download here from Laura Vanderkam. 

3. Plan out your weekends for six months! Sound crazy, huh? Create a bucket list with your family or closest friends that gives you things to do, people to see and places to be! You wouldn't believe how much time it saves when you actually plan out your weekends! And how fun is it to make a bucket list.  These don't have to be expensive activities, but make them unique and special. Mostly-live The Ever Co spirit and make MEMORIES that will last forEVER! 

Follow me @amylouhawthorne and @theeverco and share with me if this was a useful blog! I am so excited to keep sharing these free printables and lessons learned with you to use in your growth journey! I'm a big big fan of cheering other people on-so I'm all ears always and have a lot of pom poms waiting for you! Go get em! 

Love and hugs,

Amy

THE GOOD MOOD FIGHT

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He's a prideful fighter. He says things he ends up regretting.

I'm an emotional fighter. I take everything personally and focus on him vs. the problem.

Sound familiar?

The point is: we are NOT good fighters. We know this. The prideful fighter and the emotional fighter do not fight well.

Maybe neither of these fighter personalities are you. Honestly, there aren't scientific fighter labels, and if there are, I'm still no scientist. But, you can probably label the kind of fighter you are. Angry, emotional, bitter, prideful, stubborn, close minded. Do any of those sting a little when you read them? Maybe that's your fighter label; maybe that's your spouses. 

If you're reading this, I imagine you want a tiny nudge towards healthier fighting.  

So here's the deal: Blake and I have had to work diligently to figure out how we can healthily fight without making things worse. And yes, if you're asking yourself-is there really such a thing as "good fighters?" 

The answer is yes. There are.

I want to help you learn (with us) how to be better fighters.  Because at the end of the day, no matter how big (finances, sex, children, infertility, jobs-etc) or small (dirty dishes, changing diapers, toilet seats) the fight may be: we all will fight with those we love most at some point in our relationships. And if you ask me, it's not even worth fighting if there's not a resolution at the end, right? Not a compromise, but a resolution. Do you ever finish arguing with your spouse and walk away thinking, well that was completely pointless!  (insert emoji with hand raised here). That's not what we want. We want resolution.

What I've learned from countless hours of marital counseling is this: we are ALL created differently. We think differently, act differently and speak differently. We all have our faults. Different things trigger different emotions in us all, so even if we have all intentions of having a good fight, one small statement can completely derail that train and lead it down the wrong path.  We must remember that no matter how strongly we feel about a topic, your significant other may have just as strong of feelings about the complete opposite. 

BUT, be so very grateful that we weren't created the same. Use those strengths and weaknesses in you and your partner to learn and grow from one another. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you probably won't change that person into the dream man or woman you want them to be.  There will always be something (even if it's ever so small) that we dislike about our partners- and we must do everything we can to shut that desire for change down. Because that is one of the most dangerous desires in a marriage, and I'll be posting about that topic soon. 

So sweet sweet sister, or brother (probably not, huh?)

Here I am getting on my knees in front of you-begging you, pleading with you and asking you to please please please implement these steps in your relationship if you too are bad fighters.  You're here for a reason. Right? You're reading these words for a purpose. Right?Use them, share them, believe them and let me know if they worked! Maybe you learned something that I too can implement, and I'd love to hear! 

This may seem simple. This may seem silly. But, it's a fine art, and given the right attention, can turn a dull painting into a beautiful masterpiece. 

Here is my three step guide to "The Good Mood Fight"

1. If you feel a fight coming on, or if you even remotely accidentally walked into one unintentionally, and either of you are in a bad mood already: RED FLAG. STOP STOP STOP the fight immediately. If that means walking away, changing the subject, tickling the other person, whatever it is. DO NOT CONTINUE PAST GO! It could've been a bad day at work, a hard day with the kids, a rough night-whatever it was that sparked the bad mood, it will trigger unintentional emotion in the fight. Don't even let it begin.  

2. Choose a time (and location) when both you and your partner are in a "good mood." A neutral location that doesn't belong to either of you. So, not the man cave, GUYS, or the craft room, LADIES!  Maybe you're driving home from date night and you just finished watching an amazing movie. Maybe you just finished having a romantic night in. (read between the lines). Maybe you just made hubby or wifey the best dinner they've ever had. This is when you start the "good mood fight." Start it with these words, "honey (or whatever your pet name is), can we talk about something and not get mad at each other but talk about it calmly? I am so happy with how things are right now with us and I think it's a perfect time for both of us to address some things that have been bothering us cause we're in such a good mood!" Sounds cheesy, right? It is. BUT, every time I do this with Blake he laughs hysterically and already goes into the fight knowing, okay Amy isn't trying to attack me on this subject, she really does love me and just wants to talk! 

3. Be ever so cautious with the words you choose during this good mood fight, because the last thing you want to do is turn this into a "bad mood fight." Try not to use words like "you did this" or "you didn't do this", but rather "I feel hurt when X action takes place" or "it bothers me when X happens because I feel X". Put the focus on yourself rather than the other person. Nobody likes to be blamed. Focus on the problem, NOT the person behind the problem. Never use the words "always and never" because no matter how angry we are, it's one of the most dangerous ways to trigger bad emotion in your partner. And whatever you do-listen. Remove any distractions and listen to your love. They want to be heard. 

Oh and one final step: don't be hangry. Eat some stinkin food before you fight. :) 

So there it is. This isn't a science. Marriage is an art.

Blake and I aren't marriage counselors, but we've been at rock bottom.  We were a signature away from signing divorce papers just over five years ago. 

We've learned that marriage is about learning and growing and developing into better spouses for each other.  There's nothing Blake and I love more than to see each other trying to do things differently for each other! We feel respected, and we feel cherished.

I'll always end these blog posts about our marriage with this-if you feel like you've hit the end of the line, if you feel like you've exhausted every single effort in the book-can you message me first? I'll have one simple question to ask you before you call it quits.

And it's worth having the conversation with me about-I promise.

Why? Because it was the one question I asked myself before we signed our divorce papers.

And it was the one question that saved our marriage. 

"Are you ready to spend the rest of your life without this person?"

My answer was no. 

Love, hugs and so much encouragement being sent your way!

Amy + Blake

YEAR OF LOVE

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Such a mixture of emotions leaving 2017.

BUT.

So much hope + so much love for 2018.

2018 is my year of love.

A year where I transition from being an active duty Army helicopter pilot to a stay at home mama, serving in the Army reserves. To continue my love serving our nation.

A year where I lean in more with my relationship with Christ. Where I show Him more love through acts of discipline and dig deeper into His word.

A year where I prioritize my marriage more than I ever have. Where I am intentional in dating, compromising more, caring more, respecting more and loving more. 

A year where I focus on the kids and their development-emotional, physical and spiritual development. Where I show the kids just how much I love them so.

A year where I put my heart and soul into this business. Where I share my indescribable love for holidays and traditions and can share that passion with you.

Which is why I designed our Valentines collection. To share in my quest for loving myself and loving others more. To inspire dating your lover, to inspire acceptance for others and to inspire a love for self. 

So what's 2018 look like for you? I'm eager to watch you grow this year too. 

You can shop our collection here. 

 

NEW YEARS BREAKFAST

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Every New Years Eve breakfast, Blake makes us homemade biscuits and gravy.  It's a tradition we've shared for six years, and we are so excited to continue it with the girls as they get older! 

 

Here's the recipe for Blake's favorite biscuits + gravy:

Biscuits:

  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 8 tablespoons cubed butter
  • 3/4 cup (more or less if needed) milk

Gravy:

  • 1 lb. sausage (we use maple sausage, but if unavailable use maple syrup to taste)
  • 1/4 cup all purpose flour
  • 2.5 cups of milk

Directions:

Preheat oven to 425 °F.

In a large bowl combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt together. Cut butter into mixture until it begins to look like cornmeal.

Make a well with flour mixture and slowly add milk into the middle. Knead dough with your fingers and add milk when necessary. Roll out dough onto a lightly floured surface and roll out to desired thickness. Cut with small biscuit cutter.

Butter bottom of skillet and place biscuits in pan. Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown.

Cook sausage until there's minimal red remaining.

Pour in milk and flour.

Stir well, turn to medium heat until boiling then simmer. Let sit until thickens to desired thickness.

 

Enjoy!!! And Happy New Years from us to you! 

 

NEW YEARS 2017

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2017. We bid farewell.

Tonight we celebrated one of our favorite new family traditions. 

We decorated masks, made noise makers and marched up and down our neighborhood-making lots of loud noise-to the beat of our own drum. 

All with one goal in mind-to inspire others to celebrate life and remember the joy that comes in the morning. 

A few days ago, I shared this on my Instagram, but it was such an emotional tribute to this year that I wanted to share it again here.

I’ve watched Dancing with The Stars for over a decade since i graduated high school in 2005. I’ve grown up with the show. every year, every season, there’s one episode that i love the most. it’s the episode when every contestant gets to choose their “most memorable year.” some years are beautiful. some years are full of heartache. some years are a mixture of both. and in over 25 seasons, I’ve always wondered why I’ve never been able to say i had a “most memorable year.” until this year. 
2017 will forever be my most memorable year. . . 💗

a year of life. we spent our first year as parents of two. 
a year of redemption. the year i shared my testimony for the first time. 
a year of welcoming. we welcomed Blake back home from a nine month rotation overseas. 
a year of uncertainty. plagued with a roller coaster ride of health ups and downs for both girls.
a year of new. we launched The Ever Co. 
a year of change. i made the decision to transition from active duty to army reserves in summer of 2018. 
a year of celebration. the year i turn 31 on the 31st. 
a year of loss. on September 25th, i lost my best friend. my daddy. .

This year’s been memorable for so much God given goodness, but it’s also been memorable for heartache. . .

So here’s to 2018. here’s to hope for a better tomorrow. Here’s to living out my daddy’s legacy. Here’s to change. good change. And here’s to love. I declare 2018 my year of unfailing love. 

 

POST DETAILS: 

CHRISTMAS MORNING

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The spirit of Christmas lies in our hearts. May we never be too old to share in the joy and gladness this season brings. Merry Christmas to all, from our family to yours! 

Here are a few of our favorite pictures from Christmas morning-including my mama getting excited over some bingo money and taking Hadley for a ride on her new luggage! hehe! 

 
 
 
 

HOLIDAY HOME TOUR

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We've never had a blog to share our home during the holidays, but finally the time has come! We are so excited to make this our inaugural holiday home tour! The one that we will link back to 15 years from now (on a way more techy site that basically controls itself for you with a sneeze-ha!). So here she is-from our home to yours-Merry Christmas! 

Living Room 

Presents

Kitchen

Shelfie

Mantel

Favorite Books

fall and Halloween traditions

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During the month of October, we love finding fun ways to celebrate the spirit of Halloween and fall throughout the month! We baked sugar cookies and cut them into pumpkins, painted fake pumpkins from the craft store and cooked pancake stacks with orange and black sprinkles! 

 
 

Here are some of our favorite fall activities:

·      Boo’ing our neighbors
·      Creating family costumes
·      Baking pumpkin pie
·      Butternut squash soup
·      Decorating with bats and webs
·      Trick-or-treating
·      Hay rides
·      Apple cider/hot cocoa
·      Roasting pumpkin seeds

·      Raking and jumping in leaves
·      Apple picking
·      Pumpkin patches
·      Halloween pancakes
·      Painting pumpkins
·      Pumpkin carvings
·      Baking Halloween cookies
·      Watching spooky (family friendly) movies
·      Reading spooky children’s books

 
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Below you'll see our two costumes this year! Charlotte's Web and Jurassic Park-family edition! We also went to the farmer's market, played in crunchy leaves and Boo'd our fairy garden! 

Halloween Dress Up

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Never knew how much I’d enjoy playing dress up with little humans, but Halloween time and October give us all the excuses to buy fun wigs and pretty accessories to do just that!

 
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The girls, even at the tender young ages of 10 months and 2.5 years old have such a blast seeing mama wear funny things.  We try hard as parents to inspire our littles to use their imagination, and I’m a firm believer that the encouragement of creative thinking enhances cognitive development in our children. 

Albert Einstein once said, “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”  Right on, Al.  We couldn’t agree more.